Just as i come to terms with things it comes crawling back into my head...

help me... i dont understand... what am i suppose to do... what do you want from me... i have nothing to give... you know that... i know that... all i ever wanted was to just ... all i ever wanted since the point of realising how important you are... how much i needed and wanted you... i cant keep walking without just knowing in my head you are there... i belive you are there yes... but some how i cant feel you there... nothing i do seems right... everythings looks gd for a time then it always takes a turn for the worse... why is this happening... no... i knwo why this is happening... but when will it stop... i dont see the light at the end of the tunnel... i want to do things i want to run for you... but somehow it feels like you arnt letting me... why? ... im tired... really am... but then not quite so... I just want to get off this round-about and onto the road again... Ive got a car full of petrol... shwo me which way to go...

or have i already missed the turn a thousand times?

they are leaving... going... why cldnt I... why didnt I... its past and gone... i cant change it... but i have to know if that was a turn i was to take... no... it wldnt matter but to make me feel worse if it was... i cant look forward an i... i cldnt come to you even tho u probably called... open ur door and sat at the porch for me... i cldnt... i didnt... yea well... if ud materialize and sit right next to me on my sofa now ... tt wld be nice... cuz i jsut want to cry... say nth but cry... i dont do that enough... no... dont need my bike fixed... just someone to sit and watch me cry