Everybody grows old, how many actually grow up?
 
One would probably realise by now that everytime im in here complaining about something  like that *points to sentence above*...it bloody has something to do with my parents. "not again??" you say. Well things like that happen, like a broken record. Rather laughable  this time round. Childish behaviour present too.
In short this is wod happened. Car batt went flat. Hung ard for about 30 mins. Cldnt jump start the thing. Sandra, Crystal and I took a cab home first. Dad called.   Mom got pissed at him cuz he told her the mechenic said tt he porbably didnt connect the jump start cables properly. She dented the car (stupid and bloody childish). Hasnt come home yet. My dad is worried sick.

Now isnt that one of the dumbest thign ever. Oh btw, the mechenic was wrong abt my dad doin the cable wrong. Man~  brainless activity on the rise.
 
 
oh on a happy note....flag day on sat was mostly fun *smilez*.
 
love
serene

hey all. im back frm the great beyond. Just managed to untangle myslef frm my selfconsuming web of music and dance...also known as the daily '3-8 under the stars reharsals'. 'hectic' barely cuts it. However, being ard the mates ,who so happened to have gotten really close after 8 mths of reharsals, makes it a whole lot more sufferable. Not forgeting here that im doing what i love. :)

oh btw, for thoes who didnt get the news. IM SINGING ON THE 28th of AUG!! I GOT THE PART!! and like i said....thnx for praying :)

on to more pressing matters... leeches!

yup the stick to you, suck your blood, benefit frm it, while you dont get anything out of the whole deal. MyMyMy~

anyways, reacently 2 new leeches have just attached themselves to me. My gawd are they pesky lil imps. They seem to enjoy hanging ard me and pester me abt anything and everything...unfortuantely they have taken a special intrest in my 'love life'. Its rather embaressing especially when they scream frm across the corridor just to say "HI"!! o well. I reckon they'll make a very gd paparazzi team. i've been trying to dodge them for the past few days but nth seems to be working.

drats i gotta stop here for now...mom wants me in bed. Problem is i cant slp....but she doesnt noe tt now does she....

with love
serene

Gone.

Hey i've cooked up another blog, just for my "writings". ya noe wod i mean. I'll update tt regularly with new poems, and old ones just to keep things moving. site's ....


www.explicitpassion.blogspot.com


do tell me wod u think of the idea...tho u shld noe by noe i'll still have it up no matter what you say :p
*jk* comments are gladly welcomed

cheerio
Tango

Recent events have brought to my attention some questions about the emotional and matuarity level of the young ladies in my presense. One of which is their idea of romantic fantasy like realationships. qoute " but i feel so lonely, i need some one to hold, i nd someone to confort me and love me. Theirs a void in me that nds to be filled." Dahling~ you my dear have been reading to many romance novels and watchig more than your share of melodramatic movies. And nd I tell you, your -16+. how far in this fantasy of yours can u go...cuz frankly unless you are gonna shag the guy these "love" fantasy istn gonna happen. On another note. guys our age arnt as muture both mentally and emotionally so dont get your hopes up on a romantic "prince charming sweepin you off your feet" kinda romance. Get a hold of youself!!! For thoes who gets thier heart broken and jumps straight headfirst into another relationship are just plain STUPID and are askin for it. For thoes other 16 yr old lasses who are waitin for thier prince charming at this stage shld get a life get a hobby go mug somethin...anythin...
Now im not saying tt thoes who are in a relationship now are stupid or idtiots....if you have been happy for a long long time...you most probably know what your doing. Gd on ya mate. Be careful. To the rest....refrain frm doin so pls...you've got yrs down the road to find ur "dahlin" .

Heres another problem ive encountered (gurl im not arrowing you k. others have been tellin me tt thier havin the same problem). so you say you guys are best friends, hes ur listenin ear , vice-verser. You guys understand each other so well. Both are the other's shoulder to cry on. Next thing you kow...rumours are spreadin tt one likes the other in more than a friend kinda way...and u start thinkin...what if. what if we get together. since we know each other so well....best freinds after all. What if......your heads tellin you that it so might work. But do u 2 really like each other in that way if not for the rumours and the thought that you are feeling empty(refer above paragraph). Trust me i know how it feels. Big dilemma!! 2 things can happen....it actually works and kudos for you. or.....there goes your friendship...you may say you guys will still be friends...but will it still be the same. can you confirm it wont be awkward? can u guys still seat shoulder to shoulder without feeling awkward? can you guys put ur arms over each other's shoulder without feeling wierd?....will you still be able to snuggle and chill and share your problems? Are u emotionally prepared? wod abt mentally? Is it worth risking this friendship that was once so close and confertable.....im not gonna comment weither you should or should not....just wanted to share my 2 cents, some things which you might wanna think abt before "saying something stupid like I love you"

hey dotn get the wrong idea...if you guys/gals still nd someone to talk to you have my number :)

love always
serene

p.s sh*t i feel like aunt agony or somethin....LoL *ewwwwwwww*

Hey all. I've got the coolest b'dae prezzie ever...haha..... guess wod i got?? anyone?? anyone at all?? well.....i've got a pair of hand cuffs! lol. *get your mind out of the gutter ok* yea well...lotsa ppl have been givin me the whole "kinky" "bondage" thing..haha...i gotta fess up tts exactly the first thing that came to mind when i saw it.....shows how "pure" and "innocent" our 'young' minds really ar arye. *grin* anyways...totally awesome..looks bloody real...i tried to lock myself up with it too *haha* .... and no i did not mean it in that sense.... *double grin* i'll show it to ya'll another time.... ciao for now..

love
serene

This past wks i've been feeling better...alil lighter less burdened... I was finally "fine", or so i thought.
I was talking to someone the other day, abt wod i was feeling a couple mths back. And so it hit me that i didnt really get rid of everything. I just buried myself in stuff, sch, reharsals, other peoples problems, so i didnt have to think abt my own. I thought i got rid of those sorry buggers but i didnt..they're still lurking somewhere . Now im not saying tt im feeling as bad as i was thoes bloody mths...i am ,like i said, feeling better, much. But i seriously honestly just want to be able to enjoy life again...as they say... life IS rather short now isnt it. I missed the times where i had nth botherin me. constant migranes i can do without too. Sleepness nights unwanted. So yea happy happy joy joy. Just keep me in your prayers...whoever it is tts reading. Thank you :) Beacuse i still have a lil more to settle.
Anyways...if you see me ard not lookin my best....a pat on the back or a hug is greatly appreciated :)

love,
ME

*bump* Charity Car Wash tmr. $5 per car. If you want a wax job u gotta pay more! haha..... yea my class is collecting for the Straits times sch pocket money fund. :)

Yesterday...or last night rather, a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. A great shift of paradigm. I dont know how or when exactly...but it suddenly hit me last night during service. "What the hell is wrong with me. Im giving myself way too much pressure. I've been nth but jumpy the last wks. Nth but paranoid. I literally jumped when my phone rings. Its not bloody worth it. She's not bloody worth it. This thing's not bloody worth it." And after all this time...i finally found the courage to say... "God, I put this into your hands! Grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change. Courage to change the things i can. And some darn wisdom to know the bloody difference. Into your hands i place this situation."
Tts that. Final step (i hope)....30th April. Doesnt matter wod happens. WOdeva it is..... friends we still are....nths gonna change tt :) *grin* man...tts sounded real corny...haha...nevertheless its the truth....

Tiny Dancer

Blue jean baby, L.A lady
She was the seamstress for the band
Pretty eyes, pirate smile
She'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must've seen her
dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me
Tiny dancer in my hand

Jesus freaks, out in the street
Handing tickets out for God
Turning back she just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad
Piano man, he makes her stand
In the auditorium
Looking on she sings the song
The words she knows
The tune she hums

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here, with no one near
Only you, and you can hear me
When I say softly, slowly

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
You had a busy day today
(repeat)

Blue jean baby, L.A lady
She was the seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile
you married a music man
Ballerina, you must've seen her,
dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me
Tiny dancer in my hand

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can hear me
When I say softly, slowly

(originally by elton john)

u noe how when you say that noe one understands what you or what you are saying....than ppl just roll their eyes....
well....let me say this.. They DONT understand me. well atleast that fella and that women sitting 5 feet away doesnt. basket...and they wonder why i dont tell them stuff. Bloody hell. Anyway how would i aspect them to understand....he doesnt noe wod its like to be totally submerged in something ie. a play ..... just quit lar...he says...bullshit....if it was that easy i wont be having a problem now would I....Hogwash boulderdash....they realli should bugger off you noe....tt would atleast allow me some peace....spoil my day. But realli how do tell your teacher that u think she is not doin her job properly, and that she is deaf...well she is....women cant even tell if they ppl are flat or out of tune. *censored*...And mind you im not being bias or prejudice...Ppl in the cast do agree with me. And maybe *censored* 2 cents...and i do not noe much abt singing like *censored*....but i sure as hell noe a flat note when i hear one....Yea this may sound egotitical and self centered...but I do think i can do a better job than *censored*....yes i do. ANd i wish some one wld listen to me when iam giving me 3 cents.....maybe i've got to tell *censored* for it to work...hmml....
Anyways.....Apologize for acting wierd these days....have been rather jumpy.

love
-tango

*edited.... share the truth with love* - 060307

I fear a great depression .
An unforseen gloom
,that only a few weeks ago seemed so distant,
threatening clarity.
The air reaks of it.
I can feel it in the people,
I can feel it in me.
A pivotal point in this episode.
Time slows as it aproaches.
Every 'tick' a resounding boom against my chest.
Within me,
a lake once abundant, now lay desolate;
a parch desert void of emotion.
So forgive me i ask of you
if i am distant.
For in confussion i ponder
...as what i saw is not what i am about to recieve.

tango

hey. ever thought that you are alone and noones watching. well not exactly alone alone..more like u are just being ur normal self and everyting ard u is normal. yea well. than u suddenly realise that its not. that ppl ARE watching...closely, intently...waiting for you to make your next move. than u realise truely what it means to cause and effect. and sometimes the "effect" isnt something tt u would like happen. its creepy. sorta like somethin out of the x-files...think some where in season 2...opps side tracked, sorry. i think im just being paranoid...and no this piece has nth to do abt me...its just a thought. tt has been triggered. :) everyone has responsibillities...tho different frm one person to another...each as impt as the next. heh. and sometimes there are thoes hidden responsibillities that we have but dont noe until it comes round and bites u in the butt. get wod i mean...yea well..........................

cheers
-serene

ps/ btw....does anybody really noe wod "cheers" actually mean .....just a thought cuz i've been seeing it alot lately....and yes i do noe wod it means...if u were wonderin...sorry just beein an ass like i usually am.

oh hi again...u noe wod...i've decieded...no point makin it aniworse...might as well just suck it up and go thru with it...wod doesnt kill is onli gonna make me stronger :) ....

you noe wod...forget all my complains....i take them all back...sigh

helo. explicit language: Parental advisory. *today i cannot careless*
my joy was short lived folks. bloody hell. ya'll heard of shingles...well yours truley has em...
i dont noe if im pissed off or...u noe wod im not pissed off...just realli realli sad....seriously why am i the one in the whole freakin family that always fall sick. i've got a stomach problem since i was young, i've had dengue fever, im the one who always gets scraps and cuts .....bloody fuck. i tell ya...this totally suck. i feel like my skin is burning.my left side is raw...my shirt feels like sand paper against it. and mind u i take pain just fine...but this is crap. my heart feels like its crampin up. i cant breath properly.i cant sleep on my right nor my left....niether can i slp on my back..and i've got em rash on my chest too...so how?? levitate ar.....bloody bleedin soddin fuck!!!! ARGH. sigh~ im gonna be real real real real bored.

too many things happenin at the same time. too many. its just pathetic and sad.

guess hwos back guess whos back guess whos back......

hello ya'll!
ORLANDO WAS AWESOME!! didnt win the cash tho harhar... Disney was great. HUGE man...HUGE.... Universal was cool.... oh and the coke, dr pepper, pizzas *sluuuuuuurrrrrrp* yummy. and one thing i've noticed..they dont beliee in givin u small portions....food comes in mega sizes haha

yawn...darn...its 4 am ....i think i beta to knock out.. :) continue again on sat... :))

-happy tango

helo...stop over at HK now....got 2hrs to kill... airports aint veri excitin haha. Headin to san fran next b4 i reach my destination.man is the plane ride a bore. cant use my phone...for obvious reasons...haha. had to amuse (sp?) myself. think i've got anothes 17 hrs to go. oh if ur wonderin...they provide free internet services at the airport...coolies. tho im not use to a mac. lookin like an idiot here -_-'" so aniways...if i can get my hands on a com anytime after this there'll be another msg :) oh and msgin frm florida aint gonna b a prob...its 60cents each....aint too bad...haha. better not let mah dad see this...*looks ard*.

be missin ya
cheers
-me

Ok so i'll be off soon...will be back in abt 15 days i think...
hmm...even tho im excited to be headin there ....convention and all... i cant help but miss home...and of course my buddies...and the smsin....darn..and its only for 2 wks.... sigh... just wrote another poem/song wodeva u wanna call it...more like lyrics...cuz there aint noe chords o music to it yet...haha well if i can get my hands on a com over the other side....i'll post it :)

o well...pls pray for safety, less anxiety...wanna leave my worries back here...or get rid of em all together lar....haha.....be happy... rite "it" :p ohoh pray for the grande prize ....

be missin ya'll
with love
-serene

frustration aside...im tokin abt somethin diff todae
awhile back someone asked me why i like Tanya. I cldnt realli come up with much on the spot. But than it got met hinkin...why do i like tanya, who probalby more than half the world doesnt noe, soooo much. yea well she cant realli sing. i got ur point. :P
well...this is why....it doesnt matter if she can sing anot...i like the sound of her voice. Theres is a thang an edge to it that i like. Sometimes its breathy, sorta i-dont-have-a-care-in-the-world, laid back feel. than u got the rocker chick feel, like in "just like the movies". Than u got the quiet demure muture sound...somethin like in "Hello God".

Next thing i like abt her is a lyrics...wod can i say but wow.... meaningful, veri nicely written. she writes good...

i realli dont noe how to put it...its like i like the whole pakage ya noe....shes a real nice person, she writes damn good songs, and i like the way she sounds. So there. :) im not a groupie....i dont like just cos i like her...

...............................................TANGO..................................

Today was cool man...sunday...wow..i love sundays....and saturdays for that matter. (drat, tmrs monday...moday blues haha) G12 confrence waz good....worship was great :) tho i have to confess i did feel bored a few times when they were tokin....opps....o well...it was a nice experience...good to know wod this G12 is about :)


with love
-Tango-

p.s ..."it", i was realli tempted to have told you just now....but i didnt think it was the right time....oh man. :p

p.p.s Thank God to have "it" as a friend :) real blessed.

this song....lovely lyrics and well...i've been replayin it in my head these past wks....somehow the words and the feel of the music just seem to speak to me......happy sigh~

~Still~
Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hands

When the ocean rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father you are King over the floods
And i will be still and know your God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
in quietness and trust

*Happy Post* :) sort of anyway......

I've got this feeling today..... Like somethin has been lifted of my chest. Something realli heavy. Ahhh....Joy

oh and er...no poem this time....Got some verses instead.....got it while doin my quiet time this mornin.....and yes, this is that which made me feel the way i do today :)

Psalm 20:1-5

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

1 May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
2 May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
3 May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings. Selah
4 May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests.

with love
-TANGO-

Patience serene....patience.... well i'm trying darn it....and after months its starting to eat me from the inside. What am i to do...pls pls pls pls God help me!!!!!! sigh~
............................................................TANGO...............................................................

Im really tired. in every sense of the word. i havnt had a gd nights slp in a while and its really taken a toll on my body and mind. i've got to try realli hard when doin my stuff...cant seem to concentrate at all. my insides feel messed up and i havnt got a slightest clue wod to do. Pent up frustration isnt exactly one of my favourate emotions you noe. I feel like im choking up. ARGH!
sigh~ i'm totally drained...i'm lacking now....wod more do u want...thats all i have....sigh~
.......................................................................... TANGO ..............................

OKOK big news again!!! remember my poem thingy . yea well i'm goin to the convention in march.(orlando florida. walt disney.) they are givin me a trophy and a madellion and a cert. Whoohoo. Editor's choice award!! 11" by 17" silver trophy on a rosewood base. And on top of the publication thingy the poem was one of 33 poems thant got chosen to be read by a professional (wodeva that means) and recorded into a 3 CD set. ahhahaha... and since i'm below the age of 18, i stand to win a 1000USD scholorship award. AINT IT BLOODY BRILLIANT! and and and... i stand to win the grand prize of $20000USD . WHOOHOO. . Thankx God!.
i'm totally psyched!

with love
tango

Frst day of sch....was HORRID! Was happy to see my frends after the long break tho. The sch hall's a diffrent colour, which FYI isnt very suitable for a sec sch. anyways, this will be my last yr there and no matter what i say, i'll still miss the place. The crazy sch mates and equally crazy teachers... o well. but am quite bloody happy to be out :) i'd prefer looking in rm the outside.


oh and my new yrs resolution is : I'm gonna get 4 credits and pass my math!!