I would have hit the road and never looked back
I would have packed my bags and ran
I would have left, hitched a ride or spent my money on a one way ticket
but now I cant
not since Ive met you

Just as i come to terms with things it comes crawling back into my head...

help me... i dont understand... what am i suppose to do... what do you want from me... i have nothing to give... you know that... i know that... all i ever wanted was to just ... all i ever wanted since the point of realising how important you are... how much i needed and wanted you... i cant keep walking without just knowing in my head you are there... i belive you are there yes... but some how i cant feel you there... nothing i do seems right... everythings looks gd for a time then it always takes a turn for the worse... why is this happening... no... i knwo why this is happening... but when will it stop... i dont see the light at the end of the tunnel... i want to do things i want to run for you... but somehow it feels like you arnt letting me... why? ... im tired... really am... but then not quite so... I just want to get off this round-about and onto the road again... Ive got a car full of petrol... shwo me which way to go...

or have i already missed the turn a thousand times?

they are leaving... going... why cldnt I... why didnt I... its past and gone... i cant change it... but i have to know if that was a turn i was to take... no... it wldnt matter but to make me feel worse if it was... i cant look forward an i... i cldnt come to you even tho u probably called... open ur door and sat at the porch for me... i cldnt... i didnt... yea well... if ud materialize and sit right next to me on my sofa now ... tt wld be nice... cuz i jsut want to cry... say nth but cry... i dont do that enough... no... dont need my bike fixed... just someone to sit and watch me cry

Hmm this blog is full of spelling errors. Not to mention the infinite amount of typos' too.

Crud... I don't care...

You know my heart
only you know whats within
the secrets
the pain
the shame
the fantasy
My mind is a whirl of emotions unfamiliar
An anchor for stability
I seek
I desire
I desperately need

You, the only constant,
my life's one pure beauty.
The lone star in my vast darkened sky.

tittering and on edge
dancing upon the blade of insanity
if I were to fall
will you be there to catch me

lingering and staring
mesmerized as I lay eyes on you simply
if I were to ask
will you kiss me