Recent events have brought to my attention some questions about the emotional and matuarity level of the young ladies in my presense. One of which is their idea of romantic fantasy like realationships. qoute " but i feel so lonely, i need some one to hold, i nd someone to confort me and love me. Theirs a void in me that nds to be filled." Dahling~ you my dear have been reading to many romance novels and watchig more than your share of melodramatic movies. And nd I tell you, your -16+. how far in this fantasy of yours can u go...cuz frankly unless you are gonna shag the guy these "love" fantasy istn gonna happen. On another note. guys our age arnt as muture both mentally and emotionally so dont get your hopes up on a romantic "prince charming sweepin you off your feet" kinda romance. Get a hold of youself!!! For thoes who gets thier heart broken and jumps straight headfirst into another relationship are just plain STUPID and are askin for it. For thoes other 16 yr old lasses who are waitin for thier prince charming at this stage shld get a life get a hobby go mug somethin...anythin...
Now im not saying tt thoes who are in a relationship now are stupid or idtiots....if you have been happy for a long long time...you most probably know what your doing. Gd on ya mate. Be careful. To the rest....refrain frm doin so pls...you've got yrs down the road to find ur "dahlin" .

Heres another problem ive encountered (gurl im not arrowing you k. others have been tellin me tt thier havin the same problem). so you say you guys are best friends, hes ur listenin ear , vice-verser. You guys understand each other so well. Both are the other's shoulder to cry on. Next thing you kow...rumours are spreadin tt one likes the other in more than a friend kinda way...and u start thinkin...what if. what if we get together. since we know each other so well....best freinds after all. What if......your heads tellin you that it so might work. But do u 2 really like each other in that way if not for the rumours and the thought that you are feeling empty(refer above paragraph). Trust me i know how it feels. Big dilemma!! 2 things can happen....it actually works and kudos for you. or.....there goes your friendship...you may say you guys will still be friends...but will it still be the same. can you confirm it wont be awkward? can u guys still seat shoulder to shoulder without feeling awkward? can you guys put ur arms over each other's shoulder without feeling wierd?....will you still be able to snuggle and chill and share your problems? Are u emotionally prepared? wod abt mentally? Is it worth risking this friendship that was once so close and confertable.....im not gonna comment weither you should or should not....just wanted to share my 2 cents, some things which you might wanna think abt before "saying something stupid like I love you"

hey dotn get the wrong idea...if you guys/gals still nd someone to talk to you have my number :)

love always
serene

p.s sh*t i feel like aunt agony or somethin....LoL *ewwwwwwww*

Hey all. I've got the coolest b'dae prezzie ever...haha..... guess wod i got?? anyone?? anyone at all?? well.....i've got a pair of hand cuffs! lol. *get your mind out of the gutter ok* yea well...lotsa ppl have been givin me the whole "kinky" "bondage" thing..haha...i gotta fess up tts exactly the first thing that came to mind when i saw it.....shows how "pure" and "innocent" our 'young' minds really ar arye. *grin* anyways...totally awesome..looks bloody real...i tried to lock myself up with it too *haha* .... and no i did not mean it in that sense.... *double grin* i'll show it to ya'll another time.... ciao for now..

love
serene

This past wks i've been feeling better...alil lighter less burdened... I was finally "fine", or so i thought.
I was talking to someone the other day, abt wod i was feeling a couple mths back. And so it hit me that i didnt really get rid of everything. I just buried myself in stuff, sch, reharsals, other peoples problems, so i didnt have to think abt my own. I thought i got rid of those sorry buggers but i didnt..they're still lurking somewhere . Now im not saying tt im feeling as bad as i was thoes bloody mths...i am ,like i said, feeling better, much. But i seriously honestly just want to be able to enjoy life again...as they say... life IS rather short now isnt it. I missed the times where i had nth botherin me. constant migranes i can do without too. Sleepness nights unwanted. So yea happy happy joy joy. Just keep me in your prayers...whoever it is tts reading. Thank you :) Beacuse i still have a lil more to settle.
Anyways...if you see me ard not lookin my best....a pat on the back or a hug is greatly appreciated :)

love,
ME

*bump* Charity Car Wash tmr. $5 per car. If you want a wax job u gotta pay more! haha..... yea my class is collecting for the Straits times sch pocket money fund. :)

Yesterday...or last night rather, a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. A great shift of paradigm. I dont know how or when exactly...but it suddenly hit me last night during service. "What the hell is wrong with me. Im giving myself way too much pressure. I've been nth but jumpy the last wks. Nth but paranoid. I literally jumped when my phone rings. Its not bloody worth it. She's not bloody worth it. This thing's not bloody worth it." And after all this time...i finally found the courage to say... "God, I put this into your hands! Grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change. Courage to change the things i can. And some darn wisdom to know the bloody difference. Into your hands i place this situation."
Tts that. Final step (i hope)....30th April. Doesnt matter wod happens. WOdeva it is..... friends we still are....nths gonna change tt :) *grin* man...tts sounded real corny...haha...nevertheless its the truth....

Tiny Dancer

Blue jean baby, L.A lady
She was the seamstress for the band
Pretty eyes, pirate smile
She'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must've seen her
dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me
Tiny dancer in my hand

Jesus freaks, out in the street
Handing tickets out for God
Turning back she just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad
Piano man, he makes her stand
In the auditorium
Looking on she sings the song
The words she knows
The tune she hums

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here, with no one near
Only you, and you can hear me
When I say softly, slowly

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
You had a busy day today
(repeat)

Blue jean baby, L.A lady
She was the seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile
you married a music man
Ballerina, you must've seen her,
dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me
Tiny dancer in my hand

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can hear me
When I say softly, slowly

(originally by elton john)

u noe how when you say that noe one understands what you or what you are saying....than ppl just roll their eyes....
well....let me say this.. They DONT understand me. well atleast that fella and that women sitting 5 feet away doesnt. basket...and they wonder why i dont tell them stuff. Bloody hell. Anyway how would i aspect them to understand....he doesnt noe wod its like to be totally submerged in something ie. a play ..... just quit lar...he says...bullshit....if it was that easy i wont be having a problem now would I....Hogwash boulderdash....they realli should bugger off you noe....tt would atleast allow me some peace....spoil my day. But realli how do tell your teacher that u think she is not doin her job properly, and that she is deaf...well she is....women cant even tell if they ppl are flat or out of tune. *censored*...And mind you im not being bias or prejudice...Ppl in the cast do agree with me. And maybe *censored* 2 cents...and i do not noe much abt singing like *censored*....but i sure as hell noe a flat note when i hear one....Yea this may sound egotitical and self centered...but I do think i can do a better job than *censored*....yes i do. ANd i wish some one wld listen to me when iam giving me 3 cents.....maybe i've got to tell *censored* for it to work...hmml....
Anyways.....Apologize for acting wierd these days....have been rather jumpy.

love
-tango

*edited.... share the truth with love* - 060307

I fear a great depression .
An unforseen gloom
,that only a few weeks ago seemed so distant,
threatening clarity.
The air reaks of it.
I can feel it in the people,
I can feel it in me.
A pivotal point in this episode.
Time slows as it aproaches.
Every 'tick' a resounding boom against my chest.
Within me,
a lake once abundant, now lay desolate;
a parch desert void of emotion.
So forgive me i ask of you
if i am distant.
For in confussion i ponder
...as what i saw is not what i am about to recieve.

tango