Impromptu outing last Sunday (not yesterday.. the wk b4) checked out some furniture down at Holland V. Saw a candlestand that'll work... very nice. Cheap cushions too... nice fabric... Popped in Breko while waiting for the lot... then over to the Eski bar... right, wonder how long I'd last in shorts and tee in the sub-zero room hahah... probably turn into a bloody ice lolly hah!
Actually went and read the Iliad and the Odyssey....Finally.
Gotta start on me Greek again. This is actually tougher than Chinese heh. man.


So many words, so much time, so little patience... Weather's not helping... not the least bit...
AC units on the blink... all four of em... the Muses have yet to return from their vacation... them ladies are just taking their own sweet time now arnt they...
tuneless...
tuneless...
tuneless...
...
..
.

Woot! Finally having that damn bbq. Was starting to wonder if it was just all talk again. Warm breeze, hot food, good booze, pretty stars and mates. Pls hold back the clouds God. Pls Pls Pls. Sounds like a smashing time. Now if only things will go as planned heh. Better top up that lighter or we'll have a repeat performance of the last bbq.

Penang. Im just going to go with the flow. IMO I do find "meet the family sessions" rather droll. Plus seriously now, "first impressions are cheap auditions" no? Heh. Plastic smiles and self introductions, presumptions and sweeping generalisations... not exactly my idea of a relexing 'vacation'... not even a pretend one. If one has to try and relex oneself... one is already doing too much work to actually be relexing. But hey if it means tt much to him. Im there. Ohana yea?

...
...Fan on high

I really should stop walking into HMV 'just to kill time'. It's killing my wallet too.
Recent indulgence includes The Who, Joni Mitchell, Scissor Sisters, Artic Monkeys, Amy Winehouse, Barenaked Ladies. Old stuff. Almost made off with KT tunstall too but have decided that I'll just raid my friend's cd rack.

Finally found out the bloody tune I was humming all the time is from "Por Una Cabeza". Lovely lovely tune.

Borrowed Nabucco from the Esp Lib. Joy!

Finally plunked meself down on the couch and watched 'Perfume'. I felt cheated. Probably due to the fact that I throughly enjoyed the book back when I first read it and was expecting the same vivid mental pictures from the movie. I was left cold. Maybe Im not being fair but honestly now, the movie lacked the same intensity the book had. It was too narrative and rather blend compared to the book really. I couldnt sit still after an hr. Maybe ya'll should stop ruining good books and well, marvel comics too for that matter. For those of you who thought the movie was fantastic, chilling, gripping and invocative... read the book. Read!

...
... I should chain my phone to me person.

guilt trip over.

I understand now.

Was always drawing it from you.

Gotta do that now...

Being conscious about it doesnt make it any easier though heh ;)

Rain how apt. Shit day... have done absolutely nothing right. Hit me over the head and get it done with I say.

Maybe I should stop psychoanalysing myself... guilt is my least fav emotion.

I hate what I've been today. Its pathetic. Moody. Slow. Pessimist. Weak. Selfdoubting. I would punch myself if I saw me walking down the road.

What has become of me? Never would I have thought that this day would come.

Y: I saw myself in the mirror
X: yeah that's what they're generally used for
Y: what?
X: mirrors
Y: what about them?
X: ?!? you said you saw yourself in the mirror
Y: yea this morning
X: so I said 'that's what they're generally used for
Y: used for what?
X: ack!! looking at oneself!
Y: mornings?
X: *faints*

"Muse>Tango: Off for a vacation"

nooo.... dont leave me!

Hey you
same old, nothing new. well nothing of significant importance anyway. I did however got to know of this dark chocolate covered coffee beans that hahah... really does have soem kick in it. (yea yea i know it aint new... I just havnt seen them ard alright heh). oh jitters... kinda co-lead no... er more like sang 2 songs for worship during the leaders meeting.
Ayee... its funny methinks. Really, ask me stand up infront of a crowd and sing i have no problem with, its just that worship's a different ball game no? Im pretty good at performing if I might so boldly say but when it comes to worship its not the same right? lol. I hesitate cause I don't wanna just be 'performing' which is what im familiar with... I actually do wanna have an antenna reaching out and up to God.

Heard Tanya's 2 demos on her myspace today. Damn Im missing her stuff. Be praying for the day another Eng. album of hers'll hit the shelves. Go T!!
Btw: YAMIE!!! Desp. tryin to contact you woman... if by some miricle you see this, do drop me a text. Ive lost my phone along with your number and I want my "Bored" album *grin* and of course to keep in contact with you heh. But i do really want the "Bored" album.

ayyee...long day long day... *hums*its a hard day's night*
ohoh...its been exhilarating though. Never thought Id have so much fun in a chinese svc .(considering I don't really know what the bleeding hell is going LoL) language barrier you see.
Ok I was rather "gan chiong" at the start of one of the songs and completely and utterly forgot the strumming pattern. And I had no clue from the drummer either cuz it was my intro haha. Richard took one look at me face and he knew I forgot. Well I figured it out 2 bars into the first verse heh. Thank God. And thanks to ya'll for that lil prayer u said for me :)
But yea... it was great... much less jittery.Worship I did. And the butterflies who decided to infest my stomach during the G12 Women's worship have left me alone this time. For which I am grateful for my colourful fluttery friends. Leave me be till I call thee.

well... joy

-Tango
(serene)

Being able to lay it all.. and I mean all, and know that all your skills, talents, money, wahtever, came from Him and Him alone isnt being weak or dependable. Fact is without depending on Him we're absolutely nothing. Without Him we ARE nothing. For those who have known me for a long time now you know this isnt what ol Tango wld say but this is exactly what I would say now. I would have never taken into account things which are not plausible or to say I need anyone... but I do... We all do. And don't get me worng.. I'm smiling my lips off i say say this. It is an incredible feeling to know that He is watchign over you. Sitting there beside you. Like seriously feel it in your heart and soul His presence. I mean, at the risk of sounding cliche here, words cannot discribe it. Success doesnt get to our head, failure doesnt linger in you heart. As long as I know that Im walking in the centre of His will is all that matters to me now. And if you think thats an easy feat well... "I mean hey tts a simple life mate" heh think again really... its far from it... I gotta connect whats in my head with my heart... knowing it isnt just enough... everyones got thier 'stronghold'... this is... was mine...

I walked away,
planned my life and left,
told Daddy I'll be back someday.
Just, Im all grown up so I think its time
for me to go my way.
I know right from wrong,
won't stray too far,
you know im wise,
you know im strong.
Your lil girl's gonna shake the grounds.
I'll be back someday.
Just time I played this game my way.
Pass the gates and off the narrow road
took a left to Windser Els.
Got lost in the town seemed like forty years,
nothings gone right,
looks like this is what they call
hitting the ground.
What the hell was wrong with me
what possesed me to think,
that all my success
was just me and my strength,
that Daddy had no hand in it.
Ive shed enough tears
felt enough pain
laid down my bloody pride

learnt life's lesson the hard way.

With new revalation
and a faith shaken and strengthen
this rebels finally coming home Daddy,
and shes coming home to stay.
- Tango

March 2007

~Night Divine~
You broke the silence with your entrance
A grand awakening to my soul.
Cutting through the darkened night,
your movements a whisper in the wind.
Alluring me with your intoxicating scent,
you assault my senses completly.
Your touch gentle and light,
never lingering,
leaves me aching,
shivering for more.
You envelope me, molding against my skin
we breathe our breaths as one.
Burning this night and its sensation
into our minds as divine memories it will become.
Now into this comfertable silence we settle,
our breaths the only sound.
Though beyond the horizon hints your painful departure
I know we'll be one again
when darkness comes around.
- Tango

2004

Like a knife dripping with animosity so strong it kills

Slowly it slices thru every fibre and tendon,

every muscle and sinew.

Unto which it finds,

the heart of the matter

plunging into thee

A crimson mess

A black rose left

The black rose,

a bad omen,

The Wise Lady of Death

its true self unknown to all.

That beyond its black petals,

beyond the melacholy,

so deep a red rose springs forth and blooms.

So dark a shade of red it mystifies. So full in color it beutifies.

A comfort of sorts which i might find... which i will find ............

A Black Rose.

-Tango

2004

In solitude I dwell

drained and used .

Barren is my soul

longing yet again,

to be set on fire.

Beyond the dunes a shadow

a body of solace

long awaited acquaintance your

let your presence grace this shattered home.

-Tango

Walls built, fortressed my heart

alone to ponder

Safe?

Surprised than how it crumbled

one touch

yours

all it takes.

Relief took over,

a welcomed change,

unfortunate tho it departed.

fleeting yes,

frustration sets,

joy attained forgottened.

Trapped by walls a heart of ice

A single tear a silent cry

Into the sky, I draw freedom

The sea, its waters calms

Tho soothing at a moments notice tho peace washes over.

Linger it shan't

Linger it won't

-Tango

2004

~Laid to rest upon a bed of petals,
The ocean calling in the distance.
Carried like a queen towards the bekoning waters,
Solemn are their faces.

Dry your eyes, let ye tears not fall,
for this the end it shant be.
Tho thy future includes me not,
Let our happy memories live.~

- Tango

2004